Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Notes for my Children - Acceptance

This is the first and sometimes most difficult step to maturity, but I know you can do it:

Before anything else can happen you must first accept everything in your life.

Only you can choose your thoughts, and only you can choose your reactions. No one else can do it for you. Even giving up that control to someone else is a choice. If your life sucks, it's your choice to see it that way. If your life is great, that is also a choice. Accept this. The only way we can ever change anything is to first be honest with ourselves.

Allow yourself to see your imperfections. Accept the fact that you're not always right. Accept that you don't always live up to your own ideals. Accept that your health could be terrible, your finances a wreck, and your relationships a pending disaster or an ongoing battle. Be honest with yourself. Don't suck that gut in. Don't pay credit with credit. Don't blame your partner or child or friend for poor communication.

Look in the mirror, let it all hang out and see it for what it is.

Accept that you are human.

Once you can be totally honest about what your life is and about who you are, then we can move on to the next concept.

But before that, let me assure you, I know this isn't easy. I know there will be an almost automatic and unconscious desire to smooth out the rough edges and whitewash reality. It is never easy the first time. It's not easy the thousandth time! But without the ability to do this, your life will just happen to you. You will be living without purpose or vision and will never have any true control over yourself.

Everything will be someone else's fault, or worse, when something good happens you'll take all the credit. You'll be living a lie all the days of your life and never understand why you feel angry, insecure, lost, or sad.

You'll be weak, easily offended, easily discouraged. You'll look at the world and see only obstacles. You'll be too timid to try anything. You deserve a full, happy, strong, confident, adventurous life. You deserve to make great contributions to the world and raise the spirits of everyone you come into contact with.

You deserve every good thing.

Accept all the warts that exist. Accept everything you see in the mirror. Don't hide.

Don't run for false security. Nothing outside of yourself will ever be enough, so why bother seeking? It will waste your limited days and hours of life.

Don't flinch, don't turn away.

Look in the mirror, turn your eye inward on yourself. Be humble, be honest.


1 comment:

Heather said...

I really liked this post. You said like it is. Very good. Ultimately we are responsible for our own life and what happens in our life. No one else.