Time slips like silk through the fingers

Detail of "Koi"
Mixed Media on Canvas
24" x 36"
2007

Well, now.

It's been a long while since I've posted here and much has happened. Too much to put it all down in the short time I have available to me right now.

So instead of looking back, let's look forward to the future, all the way to the end of the month and then....beyond!

First, there's a Christmas show coming up at the Bearclaw Gallery on November 29th. I'll have some work there, and so will such great and wonderful painters as Jane Ash Poitras, Alex Janvier and John Roumbough.

I'm quite excited to see what they have on offer. I know John painted a lot of pieces for this, and Jane and Alex are both prolific. I'm the only one who spends a lifetime on every painting, I think. The others use the experience of their lifetimes to create their beautiful work.

Next up is the Art Gallery of Alberta's Travelling Exhibit Program. They send shows up and all over Northern, Central and down to Southern Alberta. I'll have a solo show that begins its run in January and goes for at least one year. When I'm more clear on the opening dates I'll give a buzz.

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On another note, seeing as how Christmas has snuck up on me unprepared, I'm putting out the word:

I'm open for a few private commissions.

Not a lot, just a couple to get some grease under the wheels and get the train moving again. I'll be honest, I've recently had some devastating news and being able to pour my thought, heart and positive energy into your painting will really be a help to me.

So, if you've always wanted to get a portrait done, a landscape, or just something cool or meaningful, get in touch.

This applies as gifts or corporate art to bring a little spirit to the offices as well. And of course, the spots will fill up, so get in touch as soon as you can if it's important to you.

See you around!

Aaron

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And now for an update.

In the space of just a few hours, I have gone from feeling empty, devastated, but determined...to something completely different.

I was writing this down:

I am grateful
I am grateful for gratitude!
Gratitude allows me to choose to live out of love instead of fear
When I choose to live out of love, it is like a weight is lifted from my shoulders, just lifted right up, and the clouds part and sunlight comes streaming in to fill my body.

And you know what? As I wrote it, I felt it happen, and as I felt it happen I felt something wonderful. My true self, who this week had been peeking his head out from behind my fear to test the waters and make a stand, well...my true self lost all hesitancy.

My true self that loves, and has no fear, has finally arrived. There is a timeless, free feeling to it, an opening of my heart like a flower. And the wind and the roughness of this life can't touch it, delicate as it is, because it's the strongest thing in the universe.

Oh, the body that holds it, my body, can return to the dust of this sweet earth, but the love that this flower represents, this fearless thing, I think that it's eternal. At least timeless, and isn't that the same thing?

At this moment, and perhaps it is a fleeting thing, but it doesn't feel fleeting, I am filled with a wonderful altruistic love for all people, all creatures, all life, and even the stone. Gratitude.

I remembered to remember. I have supreme but gentle confidence and see the unfolding petals of love. The petals are numberless and constantly unfolding, unfolding, and unfolding again, always revealing a new and varied beauty.

Pretty cool, huh?

If this passes, it passes, but at this moment I am the centre of supreme patience, compassion, and understanding. There is no such thing as someone or something being against me, only against love. All enemies fear and fear and fear, and lose themselves in an endless spiral of ever shrinking thoughts until there isn't even an awareness of fear, only hate, spite, and anger. All lovers love in the opposite spiral...the true love that neither takes nor demands, and neither does it give, not in the sense we're used to.

The true love just is. I can't explain it better. It just is and is pure joy, and the joy radiates joy and accepts joy. There's no fear because fear is the great lie and love is the great truth.

I know this sounds a little nuts, but honestly, I don't have better words at the moment. I hope these are doing the trick!

I'll make a confession, because I have no shame to worry about. I have been holding onto a piece of my heart, holding it back in reserve because even though I was in a loving relationship, I was scared that it might crash, and if I had put all my heart into it, I'd have nothing left to myself, nothing to survive on.

ha! There's an infinite supply of strength, I just had to let go of what I thought was important: me. I had to let go and allow...that's it. Simply allow love to fill me without fighting it or fearing it.

Many reading this may know what I mean. Maybe some reading this are holding onto their own little pocket of fear.

If you're not, then you know what I mean when I say that the moment I began to leave my fear behind is the moment I allowed my heart to begin to open and I found that I have a supremely more powerful friend than my little fear pocket.

I have the unfolding flower.

Every petal sends out a wave of love and I choose to accept it, to leave my "important concerns" behind and instead be my true self.

We all have a true self.

Hey me, you rock!

And so do you!